I'm a crier.
It's sad really.
Good book, Sad song, twinge of pain.
And I"m in near hysterics.
I findmyself in tears more often then not recently now.
My boyfriend and I got in a big fight a couple nights ago and I cried and cried.
We made up, and are fine. In fact I've never been happier.
I think that's where my problem starts.
I'm so terrified of losing him.
last night in bed laying beside him I felt the tears start to fall,
luckily he was asleep,
but those nasty thoughts of him being as disgusted with me as I am crept into my mind.
I know that he loves me.
I just want to be enough for him.
Pretty enough, smart enough, good enough,
Thin enough.
This morning I weighed in at 144.
That's .8 down.
Again better than nothing.
I know that I can keep it up.
I can do this!
I feel like if I can lose the weight it will guarentee that he won't leave me.
I realize how fucked up that sounds,
but it's what I have stuck in my mind.
Stay strong lovelies! We all have our own demons to fight, but I know we can do it!
Love you all!
XOXOXO
You are more than enough babe.
ReplyDeleteYou are pretty enough.
You are smart enough.
You are good enough.
He's lucky to have you.
And no that doesn't sound fucked up, I feel the exact same.
Well done for the .8 loss darling, you're so amazing.
Good luck and take care.
xxx